Difference between revisions of "I Found a Baby"

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(New page: ''(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")'' I found a baby today</br > It was stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk</br > I was just finishing a late ...)
 
 
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''(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")''
 
''(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")''
  
I found a baby today</br >
+
 
It was stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk</br >
+
I found a baby<br />
I was just finishing a late shift and walking to my car when I noticed it</br >
+
It was in a stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk<br />
The stroller, that is</br >
+
I was just finishing a late shift and walking to my car when I noticed it<br />
I went over to move it aside, since I had to drive out that way</br >
+
The stroller, that is<br />
As I walked towards it, I wondered vaguely if there would be a baby inside</br >
+
I went over to move it aside, since I had to drive out that way<br />
Sure enough, there was</br >
+
As I walked towards it, I wondered vaguely if there would be a baby inside<br />
I realized that I would have been slightly let down if there hadn't been a baby inside</br >
+
Sure enough, there was<br />
I'm not sure why</br >
+
I realized that I would have been slightly let down if there hadn't been a baby inside<br />
Babies are a lot of work</br >
+
I'm not sure why<br />
They're loud and incontinent</br >
+
Babies are a lot of work<br />
Sure they're cute and cuddly</br >
+
They're loud and incontinent<br />
But that only goes so far, y'know</br >
+
Sure they're cute and cuddly<br />
Perhaps it was some primal masculine urge to protect the small and helpless</br >
+
But that only goes so far, y'know<br />
I guess I'll never really know</br >
+
Perhaps it was some primal masculine urge inside me to protect the small and helpless<br />
Anyway, I took the baby home in my car with me</br >
+
I guess I'll never really know<br />
Steadying it with my right hand as I drove</br >
+
Anyway, I took the baby home in my car with me<br />
When I got home I really wasn't sure what to do with it</br >
+
Steadying it with my right hand as I drove<br />
It's not like I had any baby bottles handy</br >
+
The next day I took it in to the police station<br />
The baby had been oddly quiet since I'd found it</br >
+
To report a baby found at the corner of Bridge and Albert<br />
Babies usually cry a lot</br >
+
They told me they'd take care of it, and I left the baby there<br />
Especially after being abandoned</br >
+
I never did find out how that baby had got out there in the middle of the crosswalk<br />
But this one didn't make a sound</br >
 
Though it was undoubtedly alive and conscious</br >
 
Well, I made up a little bed for it with a cardboard box and a blanket</br >
 
I put it in my room, near my bed</br >
 
Though not too near</br >
 
In case I stepped on it when I woke up in the morning</br >
 
The next day I took it in to the police station</br >
 
To report a baby found at the corner of Bridge and Albert</br >
 
They told me they'd take care of it, and I left the baby there</br >
 
Some weeks later I phoned to inquire about the baby</br >
 
I was told it had been put up for adoption, since the parents couldn't be found</br >
 
I never did find out how that baby had got out there in the middle of the crosswalk</br >
 
 
But I guess there are some things in life that never get explained.
 
But I guess there are some things in life that never get explained.

Latest revision as of 03:39, 31 August 2009

(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")


I found a baby
It was in a stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk
I was just finishing a late shift and walking to my car when I noticed it
The stroller, that is
I went over to move it aside, since I had to drive out that way
As I walked towards it, I wondered vaguely if there would be a baby inside
Sure enough, there was
I realized that I would have been slightly let down if there hadn't been a baby inside
I'm not sure why
Babies are a lot of work
They're loud and incontinent
Sure they're cute and cuddly
But that only goes so far, y'know
Perhaps it was some primal masculine urge inside me to protect the small and helpless
I guess I'll never really know
Anyway, I took the baby home in my car with me
Steadying it with my right hand as I drove
The next day I took it in to the police station
To report a baby found at the corner of Bridge and Albert
They told me they'd take care of it, and I left the baby there
I never did find out how that baby had got out there in the middle of the crosswalk
But I guess there are some things in life that never get explained.