Difference between revisions of "I Found a Baby"
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''(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")'' | ''(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")'' | ||
| − | I found a baby today<br/ > | + | I found a baby today<br /> |
| − | It was stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk</ | + | It was stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk<br /> |
| − | I was just finishing a late shift and walking to my car when I noticed it</ | + | I was just finishing a late shift and walking to my car when I noticed it<br /> |
| − | The stroller, that is</ | + | The stroller, that is<br /> |
| − | I went over to move it aside, since I had to drive out that way</ | + | I went over to move it aside, since I had to drive out that way<br /> |
| − | As I walked towards it, I wondered vaguely if there would be a baby inside</ | + | As I walked towards it, I wondered vaguely if there would be a baby inside<br /> |
| − | Sure enough, there was</ | + | Sure enough, there was<br /> |
| − | I realized that I would have been slightly let down if there hadn't been a baby inside</ | + | I realized that I would have been slightly let down if there hadn't been a baby inside<br /> |
| − | I'm not sure why</ | + | I'm not sure why<br /> |
| − | Babies are a lot of work</ | + | Babies are a lot of work<br /> |
| − | They're loud and incontinent</ | + | They're loud and incontinent<br /> |
| − | Sure they're cute and cuddly</ | + | Sure they're cute and cuddly<br /> |
| − | But that only goes so far, y'know</ | + | But that only goes so far, y'know<br /> |
| − | Perhaps it was some primal masculine urge to protect the small and helpless</ | + | Perhaps it was some primal masculine urge to protect the small and helpless<br /> |
| − | I guess I'll never really know</ | + | I guess I'll never really know<br /> |
| − | Anyway, I took the baby home in my car with me</ | + | Anyway, I took the baby home in my car with me<br /> |
| − | Steadying it with my right hand as I drove</ | + | Steadying it with my right hand as I drove<br /> |
| − | When I got home I really wasn't sure what to do with it</ | + | When I got home I really wasn't sure what to do with it<br /> |
| − | It's not like I had any baby bottles handy</ | + | It's not like I had any baby bottles handy<br /> |
| − | The baby had been oddly quiet since I'd found it</ | + | The baby had been oddly quiet since I'd found it<br /> |
| − | Babies usually cry a lot</ | + | Babies usually cry a lot<br /> |
| − | Especially after being abandoned</ | + | Especially after being abandoned<br /> |
| − | But this one didn't make a sound</ | + | But this one didn't make a sound<br /> |
| − | Though it was undoubtedly alive and conscious</ | + | Though it was undoubtedly alive and conscious<br /> |
| − | Well, I made up a little bed for it with a cardboard box and a blanket</ | + | Well, I made up a little bed for it with a cardboard box and a blanket<br /> |
| − | I put it in my room, near my bed</ | + | I put it in my room, near my bed<br /> |
| − | Though not too near</ | + | Though not too near<br /> |
| − | In case I stepped on it when I woke up in the morning</ | + | In case I stepped on it when I woke up in the morning<br /> |
| − | The next day I took it in to the police station</ | + | The next day I took it in to the police station<br /> |
| − | To report a baby found at the corner of Bridge and Albert</ | + | To report a baby found at the corner of Bridge and Albert<br /> |
| − | They told me they'd take care of it, and I left the baby there</ | + | They told me they'd take care of it, and I left the baby there<br /> |
| − | Some weeks later I phoned to inquire about the baby</ | + | Some weeks later I phoned to inquire about the baby<br /> |
| − | I was told it had been put up for adoption, since the parents couldn't be found</ | + | I was told it had been put up for adoption, since the parents couldn't be found<br /> |
| − | I never did find out how that baby had got out there in the middle of the crosswalk</ | + | I never did find out how that baby had got out there in the middle of the crosswalk<br /> |
But I guess there are some things in life that never get explained. | But I guess there are some things in life that never get explained. | ||
Revision as of 05:02, 7 July 2009
(Spoken monologue over reprise of "Duuhhh, Pancakes?")
I found a baby today
It was stroller that someone had left in the middle of a crosswalk
I was just finishing a late shift and walking to my car when I noticed it
The stroller, that is
I went over to move it aside, since I had to drive out that way
As I walked towards it, I wondered vaguely if there would be a baby inside
Sure enough, there was
I realized that I would have been slightly let down if there hadn't been a baby inside
I'm not sure why
Babies are a lot of work
They're loud and incontinent
Sure they're cute and cuddly
But that only goes so far, y'know
Perhaps it was some primal masculine urge to protect the small and helpless
I guess I'll never really know
Anyway, I took the baby home in my car with me
Steadying it with my right hand as I drove
When I got home I really wasn't sure what to do with it
It's not like I had any baby bottles handy
The baby had been oddly quiet since I'd found it
Babies usually cry a lot
Especially after being abandoned
But this one didn't make a sound
Though it was undoubtedly alive and conscious
Well, I made up a little bed for it with a cardboard box and a blanket
I put it in my room, near my bed
Though not too near
In case I stepped on it when I woke up in the morning
The next day I took it in to the police station
To report a baby found at the corner of Bridge and Albert
They told me they'd take care of it, and I left the baby there
Some weeks later I phoned to inquire about the baby
I was told it had been put up for adoption, since the parents couldn't be found
I never did find out how that baby had got out there in the middle of the crosswalk
But I guess there are some things in life that never get explained.
